


The Usual Suspects

by DigitalThespian



Series: Permutations [6]
Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Character Study, Depression, Emotions, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Reminiscing, Snapshots, Time Loop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:40:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28316898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DigitalThespian/pseuds/DigitalThespian
Summary: The farmer was a little different every time, and it was high time they talked about it...It's not like he was around to hear them, this time.
Relationships: Abigail/Male Player (Stardew Valley), Emily/Male Player (Stardew Valley), Leah/Male Player (Stardew Valley), Maru/Male Player (Stardew Valley)
Series: Permutations [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2073213
Kudos: 9





	The Usual Suspects

**Author's Note:**

> Not as depressing as Train To Sadtown, but still sad; once again, not required reading, but this one does have some stuff in it that might be good to know for later installments.
> 
> As always, let me know if I missed any tags!

_What on earth? Why is it morning, why—_

Leah looked around, noting with growing horror that nothing she'd made since the farmer moved in was here. She jumped out of bed; on her easel sat the painting she had been working on the day he'd arrived. She began to pace, hands on her head.

_No, no no no, god, no, Abigail was right, she waited too **long** —_

_**Abigail**._

She pulled her phone out, frantically dialing Abigail's phone number. Her head shot up when she heard a ringtone outside. There was a knock, and she ran to yank the door open. There was Abigail, smiling sadly. "You too, now, huh?"

"Too?! Wait, you—oh my god, you, Maru, Emily— _That's_ why you all know so much about him..!"

"Yeah. Can I come in?"

"Yeah, I just.. god, he was just.. we were.."

"It's rough, I know. Something's wrong this time though; he's not here yet."

" _This_ time? How many times has this _happened_?!"

"This is my fifth repeat, so sixth if you count my original, and I'm pretty sure it _was_ the original. So I'm not actually twenty-one, right now, I'm thirty-nine."

"..oh my god, Abigail, did.. I only remembered because I fell in love with him, didn't I?"

"Yeah, we're pretty sure that's how it works. Big discrepancies can cause it too; Robin Remembers this time, since she met him at the bus stop and he just never showed up."

"Where is he? Is he okay?!"

"I don't know, and I don't know. We'll figure it out. In the meantime, don't tell anyone, obviously, but unfortunately the one person we absolutely _cannot_ tell is him. Just trust me."

"..Okay, I trust you; if you were able to tell him you'd have been with him last loop."

"Yeah. I.. we were set to be married on New Year's Day, my first loop. So I never got to go to my wedding. It.. really sucked. I was totally alone, no one else Remembered. But you aren't; I'm here for you, okay? We all are. We'll get through this. Maru thinks that whatever is causing the loops is eventually going to have a hard time bringing so many people back; I'm not sure about that, magic is weird, but it's as good a theory as any, and I refuse to believe we'll be doing this forever."

"Thanks, Abigail."

There was another knock. "Come in," Leah called.

Maru, Emily, and Robin trooped in. Robin sighed sadly. "You too, huh?"

"..Yeah. I'll be okay."

Maru sat next to her, giving her a hug. "We know you will. And we'll help if we can."

* * *

"It's been two seasons now, do you think.. What if he's not coming?" Emily worried her lip.

"..Then we'll have to wait for next time." Abigail said quietly.

Robin gave her a sad, knowing smile, but said nothing. "We'll keep looking in the meantime."

".. _no_.." The assembled group looked over at Maru. "..we.. don't need to look anymore. He's.. not coming."

Leah's heart seized. "No, no no, please don't be saying what I think you are."

"..It's an article about JojaCorp facing a massive lawsuit for employee neglect. They found a.. a body. The employee had committed suicide.. estimated date of death.. Winter 26. The day he said he opened the letter."

"..it could be coincidence," Leah said weakly.

"Name kept private.. age.." She muttered as she skimmed the article. "..twenty-five." She pinched her brow for a few moments. "..it's a hell of a coincidence if it is. UX Technician, recently graduated.. Suicide note.." She gasped. "..Suicide note read 'Alright god, you win; I'm tired of waiting for you to cart your ass down here, I'm coming to you.'"

There was a long silence. "..That's him alright," Abigail said quietly. "No doubt about it."

Leah looked at everyone in confusion and rising panic. "What? Why is _that_ the proof? Anyone could have said that!"

"Did he really never say that in front of you? 'If god wants me dead, fucker can come down here and kill me personally.'"

Robin snorted. "Very Kaleb thing to say."

Maru and Emily nodded, but Leah didn't calm down. " _No_! I don't believe it, he could—he could still be—" She cut off.

Abigail walked over and pulled her into a hug, and she began to sob. "I know, Leah.. We'll get through this."

"Edit: After some inquiries, our journalism team has determined that Joja wanted his name omitted to reduce emotional impact in the public eye; however, obituaries are public, and the man's name was.." She trailed off for a moment. "..Kaleb Buss."

" _No!_ " Leah crumpled to her knees, and everyone gathered around her. "It's not _fair_ , Abigail, you told me not to wait and I didn't understand why and now.."

"It's okay, Leah. It still would have reset, you know, even if you had married him."

"How do you know?! You said you—that you never actually _had_ the wedding, maybe—"

"But I did."

Leah looked at Maru in shock. "You married him too?"

"Yeah. About the end of year two. Speaking of which.." She looked at Robin. "I know you don't remember, but I wanted to thank you for not teasing or nagging us about grandkids. We were both really focused on our work, and while we didn't have anything against the idea, it just.. wasn't the right time."

Abigail could tell Robin wanted nothing more than to say something, so she stepped in. "Come on, Robin, what the hell? You teased _me_ about grandkids, what gives?"

There was a small chuckle from the group, and Robin shot Abigail a grateful look. "Sorry. Rest assured I won't be teasing anyone from here on, since I know you guys—and him—a lot better now."

"I'm going to miss seeing that smile.." Emily said sadly.

Leah stood abruptly, walking to her closet and pulling out a box of foam blocks. "Then let's make sure we never forget it." She set it next to the table in the center of the room, setting a block on the table and retrieving a few carving knives. She quickly lopped off the top corners, rounding the top into the beginnings of the top of a head.

Robin smiled. "He'd like that, I think."

"Yeah." Abigail nodded. "He always did think you were impressive; he'd be honored."

"Don't forget Tybalt," Emily chimed in. "Tybalt should be on his shoulder."

Leah nodded. "You're right; I'll do another blank of Tybalt on his shoulder, and then the torso, and so on."

"You're doing a full size statue?"

"..Yeah. He had a certain presence, the way he carried himself.. And I'm willing to bet it was different for all of us. I thought.. This could be a way for us to really share _our_ Kaleb, in a way." She shrugged. "Hell, I could make four separate ones, it's not like I'm gonna be able to get him off my mind for the foreseeable future anyway; if he's gonna be showing up in my art whether I like it or not I may as well do him justice."

"Thank you, Leah. It'll be really nice to have something like this; we couldn't do it without you." Maru smiled warmly.

"So. What first?" Leah tapped her chin, staring at the block. "What expression should I go for.."

The girls looked at each other. "Smiling at Tybalt." They all said.

Leah laughed. "That does seem to be the universal constant with him, doesn't it? He would die for his furry son, as he liked to call him."

Abigail and Robin exchanged another glance, but said nothing. They had agreed there was no need to reopen old wounds, and the others didn't need the trauma, not now. Emily chimed in with a fond smile. "He once said that he couldn't go be a full-time hero because 'what if my son got sick, Emily? I need to be there for him.'"

"He acts like the son thing is a big running gag, but I really don't think it is," Robin said.

"It's not," the others said in unison. Maru continued. "He acts like it's a joke so that people who don't know him as well don't think he's insane if they overhear it, so he doesn't have to change his behavior. He was trying to work on being less hyper-aware of people and what he needed to say to maintain appearances and expectations."

"It's so strange; every time, he shows up and he's kinda.. _grumpy_ , almost. Or at least prickly, if you approach him wrong, but as the loop goes on he always becomes.. almost _less_ sure of himself."

Emily nodded. "It's because he gets attached to us; at the beginning he's running on his philosophy of 'they'll either like me or they won't like me', but as the loop goes on and he starts to become friends with us, he shifts to 'they like me, _don't fuck it up_.'"

"Some loops he's friendlier than others, though. In your run he was _way_ friendlier than in my original run." Abigail pointed out. "I met him at the bus stop in loop two—that's Emily's original run—and he was all sunshine and smiles, whereas in my original run, he was much more grim. Not in a mean way, just like a 'I'm here, I'm alive, let's get this done,' kind of way. He got into a few arguments pretty early. One with Haley over her being rude to Emily."

Emily look surprised. "Really? You never mentioned."

"It's not like we had a lot of chances to talk about these things. With the exception of this one, since.. yeah. Besides, I thought it was best to keep the number of conflicting facts to a minimum for those of us who were new to this so we didn't accidentally say things we shouldn't know. I'm pretty sure I mentioned that.."

"I suppose you did," Emily conceded.

"But there's enough of us now that we _have_ to get our stories straight if you ask me." Maru nodded decisively. "If we all try to cover up little missteps independently eventually we'll contradict each other, and that'll be hard to come back from, if not impossible."

"Agreed." Robin nodded. "Especially for me, considering how much Demetrius _hates_ him."

"Yeah, you know, I was gonna ask about that, Maru; how did that work out? With you marrying him, and all?"

"Uh.. Well, dad was being an ass, frankly."

Robin spluttered. "Maru!"

"He was!" She defended. "And I'd.. well, I'd done Kaleb wrong, and I did my best to make it up to him, and he accepted; he actually _proposed_ as a way of accepting my apology, saying that if I was willing to go to those lengths that he knew I was willing to make it work."

"Aww, that's so sweet!" Robin smiled, though internally she was cringing at her own theatrics; not unreasonable, but still weird considering she remembered this happening.

"But dad came out and saw me holding the Pendant, and thought _I_ was proposing, and said he was disappointed I was wasting my time with some farmer—and of course Kaleb defended me, saying that I wasn't to blame, and that he shouldn't be upset with me over his issues with Kaleb."

Abigail snorted. "That's not surprising in the slightest."

Maru nodded. "But he still kept going, and eventually I cut him off and told him he could draw a line in the sand if he wanted, but he'd be standing there without me. And I put the pendant on, and took Kaleb's hand, and we walked back into the torrential downpour and back to his farm."

"Whoa, wait, you _cut ties_ with Demetrius?" Leah was astounded. "But you're like, practically the _quintessential_ daddy's girl."

"Well, Kaleb and I got involved because I'm bad at investigating; dad was determined mom was sleeping with Kaleb, which was ridiculous."

"And I was _not_ sleeping with him; that I can remember at least, but I can't _ever_ see that being the case," Robin added.

"Yeah. But no matter how many times I told him there was nothing going on, he wouldn't believe me. Or even if he did, he still treated mom and Kaleb like shit over it."

"How did that lead to you and Kaleb being a thing, though?"

"..Kaleb kept noticing me hanging around the same places as him at the same times 'by coincidence', and I would make some bad excuse, and after a while he came to the conclusion I had a huge crush but was too shy to say anything."

"Oh my _god_ ," Leah laughed. " _You_? Shy?"

"I mean, _he_ can be shy, so I don't think it's that far fetched that he could think I might be; but anyway, he had apparently _adored_ me from day one—or like, day seven, or something—I accidentally blew up a gadget I was testing and it killed the power to the entire town, and he was there, and he said that was the moment he knew he was a goner."

"What?!" Emily cackled. "I hadn't heard this part!"

"Yeah, he said the moment that really did it was me cursing under my breath and muttering about Tesla and alternating current; that and the fact that my response to a literal explosion was 'well, guess it's time to start over.'"

"I can see it. He always admires your tenacity."

Leah looked at Abigail. "I see why you always seemed to just _know_ when it came to him, you're kind of the expert by now, huh?"

"Yeah. I've been around the longest, and since we adventure together in almost every loop, I have a lot of chances to have, like, 'bonding moments' where he actually learns to trust me, so he's willing to share a lot of stuff I shouldn't normally know. And his recall is _awful_ , so even if I do slip up and he asks when he mentioned something to me I just shrug and say 'man, I don't _know_ , I just remember it,' and that's the end of it."

"That makes sense. Maybe I should start going along," Maru laughed.

"Oh no, I may Remember now, but I'm still your mother, and I do _not_ want you going to those mines."

"What, she can and I can't?!"

"It's not that; I'm not _her_ mother, if I was I'd be telling her no too, and I'm willing to bet Caroline and Pierre _do_ tell her no."

"They do." Abigail confirmed. "I just go anyway. I know why they say all the things they say now, so I know how to phrase things in a way they'll understand, which usually boils down to 'look, I know you love me, and I really appreciate it, I do; but I'm going with Kaleb, who's a real stand-up guy, and what's more, slaying monsters in the mine is something Marlon will actually _pay_ me for, because it needs to be done to keep the town safer.' Once I frame it as something that's important to me that I'm passionate about, and provide the context that it's also something that really _is_ a 'worthwhile' use of my time, both morally and financially, they usually let me go. If that doesn't work I point out that the only other things I do are play drums with Seb and Sam, and flute here and there by myself, and that they're always trying to get me to apply myself. I'm _trying_ to apply myself, but you won't _let_ me."

Robin smiled sympathetically. "See?"

"..Fine, I guess.. Thanks for caring, mom."

"Hey, you can always invite him to come along as like, a bodyguard on your mineral hunting expeditions." Abigail grinned. "He loves that hero stuff; not that you need protecting, and he'd admit that too, but it'd make him _feel_ like he was, you know?"

Robin nodded. "That would be fine. I just don't want you going on monster hunts like he and Abigail used to."

"Did he really do that last loop?" Leah tilted her head.

"He had the sword, didn't he? And remember, I was automatically one hundred percent behind him when he asked if I would be interested, so we were going on expeditions in like, the second week; it's not like he needed to _convince_ me, and unlike the first time, I know my way around a sword now. He always asks if I can fight, cause he's worried about whether he'll accidentally go too far for me to handle, and then I whoop his ass six ways to Sunday in a spar and he doesn't ask again."

Maru laughed. "I can see it in my head so clearly. The blank, disbelieving stare, the little head scoop motion, and just, '..Okay.'"

"Yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about." Leah smiled. "That would be a good one too.. him with his head angled down and to the side, and that half-sheepish half-amused smile on his face."

"Oh, definitely."

"So.." Leah began to shave away pieces of the foam block, making a rough head shape. "Sharp cheekbones.. prominent ears.. obviously the braid.."

"The bridge of his nose has a slight bend to the right where it goes from bone to cartilage." Maru paused. "Oh, his right, so to the left if you're looking at him."

"Man, you really notice little details when you live with someone, huh? _I_ didn't even know that." Abigail shook her head with a smile.

"Really? I noticed it almost right away." Emily tilted her head. "Though I suppose I spent more time examining him as a whole, given my hobby."

"Man, it's a shame that cloak is gone, that thing was _so_ cool."

"Cloak?" Maru tilted her head.

"She made him a magic cloak with the Power of Love, by accident; the first time I saw it I didn't know they were testing it out, so when she asked me to punch him in the shoulder I just went for it—cause you know our dynamic—anyway, I about broke my knuckles on the damn thing."

"Holy _shit_." Leah stared. "Okay, him in the cloak is definitely on the table, that sounds really cool."

Emily blushed. "He was _very_ dashing.."

Leah carved out the divots for where the eyes would be, and Abigail shook her head. "Not nearly sunken enough. Dude had circles under his eyes like nobody's business."

"Yeah, I guess he does.." She scraped a bit more away. Fairly soon, there was a rough shape that, if you knew him, was clearly Kaleb.

"For how little time that took you, I'm astounded how much that looks like him," Robin said.

There was a brief knock, and then door opened. "Leah, sorry to drop in unannounced, but—" Elliot stopped in the doorway, looking at the unlikely assortment, then looked strangely at the foam bust. "This is an.. odd group, am I intruding on something? Also.. who is that? He looks so familiar.." There was a pause. "Why am I so _certain_ it's a man..? The hair would suggest otherwise, and yet.."

"..I'm telling him."

Robin looked at Leah in alarm, but Abigail waved her off. "It's alright. I've told my parents before. He's not here, it's not like he can find out."

"..Who's not here? Tell me _what_?"

Abigail gestured to Leah, who in turn gestured to the bust. "Tell me, Elliot; when you see this, what can you tell me about him?"

"I.. alright, I suppose I'll participate; I _am_ here to socialize, after all. Hmm.." He set a hand to his chin. "He is.. proud, but not arrogant. He cares deeply for those around him. He is kind, but is not incapable of cruelty at times."

They all stared at him in disbelief, except Leah, who seemed to expect this. "What's missing?"

"..His.. Why do I..? I am so _sure_ ; I can't explain it for the life of me, but I feel like there should be a cat."

"Oh my _god_ , it's in there." Abigail was stunned. "Elliot; what's his name?"

"The cat, or the person?"

"Either. Both."

"The cat's name is.. Baldwin? And his name.. eludes me."

Abigail tilted her head. "What was his horse's name?"

"No, you're right, _Baldwin_ was his horse, his cat was _Tybalt_." His head shot up. "Wait..!"

"You're Remembering, aren't you?" Maru asked.

" _Remembering_..?" He stared blankly into the distance. "My god.. this.. this isn't how this went, the first time.. is it?"

"No, it's not. Welcome to the club, Elliot; take a seat. You remember his name now?"

"..Kaleb, I believe."

"Yeah. You were pretty close?"

"He.. helped me write much of my novel." He started. "My goodness I have so much to _rewrite_.."

"Easy, there, Mark Twain."

"..You're right, that can wait." He sat down. "So you are all.. recreating him? Why is he not here?"

"He's.. dead. He never made it here to begin with, this time."

The color drained from Elliot's face. "No."

"..Yeah. We know. It's.. rough."

"..Well, I have no reason to believe this will be the last repetition, since you all have implied there were others, so.. I shall simply have to wait for his return in a few years."

"Well said, Elliot." Robin smiled. "Do you want to help with the statue?"

"..His braid was thinner than that." He chuckled. "He was always commenting on how his hair was so much thinner than mine.."

"You're right, it was.." Leah continued to make adjustments as the six of them shared stories.

* * *

Leah adjusted the sheet, tugging on it gently to make sure it would slide off and not tip the statue over. She wanted to yank it off dramatically, because it's what he would have wanted; but she also knew if she wasn't careful it could go very wrong.

She'd even done a few test runs to make sure the fabric made a good rumpling sound when she did it.

There was a knock at the door, and a voice called out. "It's the Usual Suspects."

"Come on in!" Leah called back.

The group filed in, some carrying bottles or baskets of food. Maru held hers up with a smile. "We brought snacks."

"You guys are the best."

Elliot shook his head, smiling warmly. "It's the least we could do, really. Your talents are the central pillar of this entire operation."

"Aw, thanks, Elliot."

Emily was sitting up straight, excitedly. "Which one did you end up doing first?"

"You'll see." Leah winked.

Abigail called out in an exaggerated east-coast accent. "Everyone get your shit and siddown, I'm dyin' over 'ere!"

There was scattered laughter as everyone settled, and Leah smiled. "Well, I don't need to introduce the piece, so I'll just let it speak for itself." She reached out and took a handful of the fabric—doing her level best to channel every ounce of drama that she could—and yanked the cover off.

There was a collective gasp. "Oh, Leah, it's _beautiful_." Robin spoke for everyone present, and there were murmurs of agreement.

"It's hardwood; I wanted to be sure the details wouldn't crack or chip off."

Before them stood Kaleb, as though he'd been turned to wood; his head was turned slightly to look out of the corner of his eye at Tybalt, who was perched on his left shoulder. He wore a small, loving smile, and his left arm was raised to pet Tybalt under the chin. He was wearing his cloak, which obscured the right half of his body, but his raised left arm held it away enough to show the sword belted at his hip, and the relaxed, easy line of his posture. He was wearing simple, no-nonsense work pants, along with the tunic that he somehow inevitably acquired at some point in any given loop.

Leah rocked the statue to turn it around, revealing the raised coat of arms on the back of the cloak. "You said it was embroidered, so it's not even texturally inaccurate."

Emily began to cry quietly. "I love it, it's _perfect_."

"This is really something, Leah. Absolutely phenomenal." Abigail sniffed. "Dammit, you're gonna make me cry too, Emily!"

"I'm taking that as a compliment." Leah chuckled. "So, whose Kaleb is next?"

"I mean, shouldn't it be yours? You _are_ the talent here."

"I, uh.. was going to go last, so that I had the practice from all the other ones."

Maru laughed. "You know, he'd _love_ that, that is exactly his style."

"I thought so too."

"In that case, I guess either Maru or I."

"What are you going to go with for yours, Abigail?"

"Well, we seem to be doing.. a series of like, emotional snapshots, almost, so given that I'm pretty sure I know what Leah is doing.."

"Oh?" Leah tilted her head.

"The wine label."

Leah blushed. "..yeah, you got me. I got him to do that pose for a painting once, so I'm confident I can recapture it."

"So yeah, Emily's is 'love and care', Leah's is 'boisterous gravitas'."

Maru nodded in approval. "Ooh, good word—those are _both_ good words."

"Thanks." Abigail laughed. "That leaves Maru and I, and well.. I was actually going to try to capture a moment down in the mines. We all know he's vicious if the circumstances are right."

Leah shivered. "No kidding."

Elliot looked between them. "..Did I miss something?"

"It's.. not my story to share." Abigail shrugged. "It's up to Leah."

"He uh.. I.. Kel showed up, and gravely insulted someone very dear from his past, _and_ me, _and_ him, all at once, and he came within a hair's breadth of chasing her down with a dagger and killing her with it."

Everyone but Abigail stared in horror. " _What_?!" Emily burst out. "But—but he's—"

"He swore off violence forever afterwards, and gave me the Galaxy Sword to prove he meant it. Just.. gave it up."

"..Galaxy Sword..?" Elliot cocked his head, and both Robin and Maru nodded in agreement.

"You guys know iridium, right?"

Maru nodded, and Robin shrugged vaguely affirmatively. Elliot ducked his head. "Not.. particularly. I'm aware of it, and that's about all."

"It's pretty much the strongest metal out there. Lighter than steel, way tougher, and holds an edge practically forever—provided you don't abuse it."

"This sounds like quite the sword, then."

Maru whistled. "Man.. I'm thinking about what an iridium sword would be capable of, and wow."

Abigail snorted. "That was a point of comparison. The Galaxy Sword is on another level entirely. I once saw him use it to chop an _iridium bar_ in _half_. It took five swings. Not a scratch on it. As far as we ever found out, it's indestructible; it can cut basically anything, and it weighed _maybe_ three pounds." She pointed to the sword at the statue's hip. "That's actually the hilt and handle; which I appreciate, by the way. This is the folk hero Kaleb. Magic cloak, legendary sword, heart of gold."

"And you wanted to capture the anti-hero?" Elliot looked curiously at her.

"Uh.. not quite. This was.. well, frankly I'd call it borderline animalistic rage."

Everyone stared at her. "..Why do you want _that_ for yours?" Leah shook her head. "I mean, it's your call, but like.. why?"

"I obviously don't have any scars anymore—not that I ever had many, _he's_ the reckless one between us—but this one.. we ran into an infested floor, we called them, and it was a crowd of maybe fifteen shadow brutes; bastards are tough, and they'll take a piece out of you if you're not careful."

Leah nodded. "He had a scar on his ribs in my loop.."

"I remember that. That was a pretty good example." Abigail smiled gently to herself. "Well, this time one got _me_ , back of the thigh. It didn't hamstring me, but it was way too close. I thought we were going to die there."

The entire room was leaned in towards her, enthralled. "What happened?" Maru asked.

"..He killed every last one of them, by himself, and it was probably the scariest thing I've ever seen in my life. It's like he wasn't even human anymore. We had one good sword between us, which I had, and he had a dagger he'd found a few floors earlier; I meant to call out to him to tell him to take the sword, but when he looked over, and saw me on the ground.."

"God, Abigail, I'm so sorry.."

"Don't be; I was fine, and despite the terror it was.. I wouldn't say I cherish the memory, but it's important to me, to us. Does that make sense?"

"Absolutely."

"Okay, cool. Well, he saw me, and that moment is what I'm after; he always had this very no-nonsense, grim expression in the mines."

Emily nodded. "I saw it once or twice, the 'hero face'."

Abigail nodded back, continuing. "But at that moment, there was a flash of horror, as he realized the shape I was in, and then his face twisted into a snarl, but not all at once, like.. I could practically _see_ the empathy drain away. The time for decency was over, because they had _dared_ to hurt me."

"Don't you always fight to win though?"

Abigail shook her head. "Not.. not like this. There's a set of rules in all of our heads, things you do and don't do, things you do and don't want; there were no rules anymore. I was worried he was going to get himself hurt—and to be fair, he absolutely did, but not as bad as I was worried about. No, he just took 'offense is the best defense' and ran with it."

"You said he was fighting with a _dagger_?"

"Yeah. The scariest part was the fact that after he killed the first two or three—I'll spare you the details on those, suffice to say, it was incredibly brutal—they started to hesitate, and one tried to skirt around him to get to me."

"Oh my god, what happened?!"

"He.. killed that one with a rock. He had stabbed a different one, but the dagger got stuck in it somehow, and he saw it coming for me, so he just left the dagger there and scooped up a rock."

".. _how_? Like, how did he even manage it?"

"Full body tackle. He crushed its skull on impact. It was honestly really impressive, he hit it right as it hit the ground to add the two forces together, and it was _over_. He also broke his left wrist, but I didn't find that out till after."

"How could you not tell?!"

"I mean.. the forearm has two bones in it, so I don't think he noticed it either; and he's broken it before, so I guess it just re-fractured. They didn't get near me after that, the last five or six just rushed him, hoping to take him out before he picked them all off."

"You said he didn't have the dagger, though."

"He didn't. They all rushed him, which meant they grouped up."

"Oh no, he used explosives, didn't he."

Everyone but Abigail looked strangely at Emily. "Was that a thing in your loop?"

"Yeah, he used cherry bombs as grenades, ended up shattering his lower leg at one point cause he got knocked forward into the blast."

"Well, it wasn't a cherry bomb, it was a regular bomb, and by it I mean it was seventeen."

" _Seventeen_?!"

"Yeah, he dropped a whole pile, lured them past it, and tossed the last one in. I couldn't hear _anything_ for like, three minutes. It sure fucking worked, though."

"How did you guys survive?!"

"You know the dwarf?"

"..no?"

"There's a dwarf. Kaleb learns Dwarven sometimes. The dwarf sells life elixirs; Kaleb just bought two once we got out. They're usually overkill, so we don't bother, but that time it was worth it. They're like, two _thousand_ goldferns, but they'll fix you up good as new. It's just that we rarely _need_ that, since we try not to let it get that bad."

"That's.. terrifying."

"Yeah, kinda. But after, he ran over and knelt next to me with this _look_ on his face—you all know the one—and if I'd been able to hear I might have blurted out 'marry me' on the spot, because for as scary as he was thirty seconds before, it was because he was hellbent on protecting _me_."

"Why not _that_ look?"

"Because the 'utterly heartfelt' expression is already covered, for the most part; I want to represent who he _is_ , even the darker parts. It's something he expressed himself: 'If you don't keep your flaws where you can see them, you can't be sure if it's you doing something, or them.'"

"..I can get behind that, actually."

"Well, I'm doing the sheepish head-tilt smile, because it's fucking _adorable_." Maru nodded decisively, and Abigail laughed.

"I'll drink to that!"

* * *

And life carried on, as it always does.

_Next time. Next time will be better._

_They'll make **sure** of it._


End file.
